Let me start by saying this isn’t a pity post…nor is it meant to be any kind of guilt trip. What this IS…it’s me being genuine. So…as your read this post…I pray you see beyond the black and white…and what you’ll get is a glimpse into my heart…laid bare.
Like many of you…there are days when I feel like it is ALL FINALLY coming together…times when I can see the puzzle pieces snapping together nicely. And THEN…there are days…like this…days where there seems to be a huge gap from where I am and where I need to be…and just like anyone else…I struggle. YES…I struggle.
Don’t get me wrong…I’m in awe for what God has done for me…and my family. The fact that I’m still alive…and many of you know that story…is a true miracle. I just want to praise Him and bring Him the glory! And every day my heart swims with a thousand different emotions…emotions that are swirling…and words that (at times) come out jumbled and imperfect.
But on those days…like today…when I look at a stack of bills and all the things my family needs (new glasses, new clothes, sometimes just money for groceries)…then look at our bank account balance…simply staring. I find myself many times “willing” more money to somehow magically appear. We find the water rising higher and higher…and at some point we’re going to be asked to step out of the boat. It’s coming…and might just be here.
We believe that God called me to ministry…we’ve watched Him move in amazing ways. Big things…small things (though it’s ALL big to me)…we watch with utter gratitude at what God has done. BUT…then it happens…I fall back into struggling with what’s left undone. Wondering…sometimes doubting. Am I fit for what He has called me to?
I know what you’re thinking (I’m thinking it too)…Am I a thankless child or what? How can I be so ungrateful for what God has given me that I’m now stumbling…wondering…how/if He’ll provide the next time. Yea…that’s me…the imperfect Christian. Unfortunately I wear that label far too many times.
So why am I talking about this today…
Well…this all came about as I was putting together my children’s church lesson for this coming Sunday. Yeah…BAM…the Lord just socked me upside the head, and asked me…DO YOU GET IT…YET? Huh? Get what? The main point of the lesson this week. DO YOU GET IT YET?!?!?
This week we’re studying the story of Moses ascending Mt. Sanai to retrieve the 10 Commandments, how Joshua escorted him (to a point), then how Joshua and the Israelites waited (in much different manners) for Moses to return with the Word of the Lord.
OK…so just what did this teach me? Something I already knew…but had to be reminded of…and that is this:
We must be willing to wait on God and trust His timing!…or in other words: PATIENCE!!! (NOT my strong suit)
“Timing is everything” is a phrase that we hear all the time. I believe that God has something great ready for me (and you), but the timing of when it will happen is very important! His timing is perfect and waiting for things in God’s timing is well worth the wait! BUT…but…Waiting for God’s timing may not be easy (okay…it’s usually NOT), but it’s ALWAYS the best plan!
You see… Joshua was patient, waiting for God’s perfect timing. Joshua didn’t force things to happen…he waited patiently for God to act.
Does that sound like you? Does that sound like me? (Don’t answer)
The Israelites didn’t wait on God and made a real mess of things and a real mess of their faith. They made a golden calf and said that CALF was their God and worshipped that! What a horrible mistake.
Joshua could have decided to give up waiting and head back down the mountain. If he had…he might have been tempted to become even more impatient and to be part of those who were worshipping the golden calf. That would have been a disaster for Joshua and for his faith in God.
It’s a great lesson…praying the kids get it allot quicker than I do/did.
Let me close with this…
I KNOW that my God is bigger than all of these little (sometimes BIG) stumbling blocks I keep getting distracted by. I know these things…yet I’m thankful for every reminder nonetheless.
And I know…at times…I drag my feet and I struggle because I’m tired and I feel so blind…sometimes even alone.
For those whom this impacts…all I can ask is that you please bear with me. I’m a work in progress.
That’s what I got for today…
God Bless…and thanks for reading along!!!
BridgeKidz Children’s Ministry
Ironbridge Baptist Church